How Can Relationship Counselling Improve Communication?

Communication is key to any long-lasting, strong relationship. Yet it doesn’t always come naturally and it’s no one’s fault. Sometimes there can be issues getting in the way of communicating properly, either through a lack of confidence or belief that you’ll be heard. A past incident where poor communication led to a misunderstanding might result in giving up on trying, not believing that you can talk without dissolving into an argument. It can be disheartening when communication starts to break down which leads to a rift in the relationship. Arguments fail to get properly resolved when neither party is listening or being properly heard. It can feel like an ongoing struggle and frustrations can boil over to a breaking point. Couples therapy can help stop a relationship from reaching that crisis point through helping with better communication.

However, a relationship doesn’t have to be struggling to benefit from relationship counselling. Better communication skills can lead to a more rewarding relationship where both individuals form a better understanding of one enough, strengthening your bond. Happy, loving relationships blossom through respectful communication where both parties speak and listen.

Deal with communication challenges in a safe environment

Therapy gives you a chance to be open about your communication problems in a safe place where you can bring up sensitive topics without worrying about judgement. Sometimes, for us to communicate our feelings, we first need to understand them. Having a therapist to act as an impartial mediator and a sounding board helps you to analyse your own feelings. Once you find yourself in a safe place, you can start to pick up better tools for getting your feelings and thoughts heard within your relationship.

Teach you to be a better listener

Communication is a two-way street. During couples therapy, active listening exercises give you the chance to support your partner as a good listener. Many communication problems come about because couples aren’t giving each other the chance to speak. They interrupt each other as their need to be heard overrules the need to listen. Allowing your partner to speak and understand their point of view gives you the chance to think of your response while knowing their opinions and feelings first. You aren’t at risk of making your partner feel like you misunderstand or aren’t listening.

Be confident with expressing yourself

Self-confidence can cause problems with communication. If you don’t feel validated, you’ll be less likely to bring up how you feel to your partner. Maybe you are worried about how they will react? Or maybe you feel like it’s not a problem? Learning to understand that your feelings are just as valid as your partner’s will help you to open up and be vulnerable around them. This builds on trust as your partner has the chance to support you and listen to your worries.

Building on your communication skills in a therapy session reaffirms that it’s okay to talk about personal and challenging topics with your partner. As they then learn to listen and see your perspective, they will understand you better and be in a good place to help you when you need them the most.

Reading non-verbal cues

Communication doesn’t always use words. In couples therapy, you will also become more familiar with body language and cues that you may sometimes miss or misinterpret. You can also discuss how you interpret your partner’s body language and get their perspective on why they act that way. This builds on how well you understand each other and gives you both confidence to start a dialogue when you notice something off about the other’s behaviour.

Helps enforce positive language

Using positive framing in any conversation, with your partner or not, helps form a good discussion and avoids conflicts – even if you aren’t in agreement. If you take a moment to look at how to frame your point in a positive light, you aren’t going to be faced with a defensive partner who feels under attack. In couples therapy, you’ll learn how to use positive language when communicating with your partner.

Take accountability for your thoughts and feelings

One key communication skill is learning how to own how you feel. Arguments happen in a relationship, whether over something big or small. The way you take responsibility for your own feelings in the argument can make a difference and help you to reach a resolution sooner rather than playing the blame game. You can do this in therapy by learning to use ‘I’ rather than ‘you’ when you make your point. Your partner can then understand where you’re coming from, rather than feel like they need to defend themselves.

Understand your partner’s perspective

In a relationship, you don’t always have to agree on everything. Knowing where your partner is coming from always helps communication follow naturally. Even if you’re in a conversation where you don’t feel like they are going to see your point of view, respect that they have their own way of thinking – just as you do. Couples therapy helps you to better see things through their eyes. This helps rule out misunderstandings as you can take a moment to reflect on what they’re saying and think about how they’ve come to their conclusions. Rather than call them out on being wrong, you can understand their perspective and maybe even ask them if they thought about the problem a different way. If you then validate their feelings, they’ll appreciate that you’re listening and trying to understand, rather than simply flat out disagree.

Build on your communication skills by booking couples therapy

As every couple faces different challenges, the solution isn’t always the same for everyone. However, good communication is the starting point and it’s where relationship counselling focuses first. Learning to listen and understand while also communicating your own feelings will help you both to feel validated in your relationship.

If you are considering getting help with communication or any other aspect of your relationship you can get in touch with us by emailing admin@therapyclinicbrighton.com. We will then contact you to ask you to fill out a short information form before arranging an initial appointment for you with one of our couples therapists.