What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory is an important idea explored in connection to relationships. But what is attachment theory, and why is understanding it important for our relationships with others?
What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory originated with John Bowlby in the 1960s. Together with Mary Ainsworth, he looked at infants reuniting with their mothers after being separated. From this, they were able to formulate 4 main attachment styles. These aim to examine how people’s attachment styles influence them to interact in their relationships.
What are the 4 theories of attachment?
Bowlby theorised that the 4 types of attachment are:
- Secure
- Anxious
- Avoidant
- Fearful-avoidant
Bowlby argued that humans are innately wired for connection. First and foremost, we are a social, relational and bonding species. He defined attachment as ‘a lasting psychological connectedness between human beings’. Attachment is concerned with emotion and the regulation of emotion.
Secure attachment
Ideally, with loving and attuned caregiving, we grow up to be securely attached. This means we’re able to attend to or stay engaged with distressing emotions without fear of losing control or being overwhelmed. We don’t need to alter, block or deny those emotions and so can use them to orient our world. Securely attached people recover faster from negative feelings and have more empathic responsiveness. Amongst other things, they have a reduced susceptibility to anxiety and depression.
Anxious attachment
If someone perceives others as inaccessible, unresponsive or even threatening, they may adopt secondary models and strategies. These can take the form of vigilant, hyper-activated, anxious ways of engaging with others. They can also take the form of avoidant, dismissing and deactivated strategies. Hyper-activated behaviour can include being pushy, demanding or angry. Deactivated behaviour can include numbing and withdrawal.
We all use fight or flight as a survival instinct. It can become a problem when it becomes habitual. This ends in constraining a person’s awareness and choices and limiting his or her ability to engage constructively with others.
Anxious attachment is characterised by sensitivity to any negative messages coming from significant figures. ‘Fight’ responses are designed to protest distance and get an attachment figure to provide attention and/or reassurance. Anxiously attached are generally preoccupied with others and their relationship. They can also be preoccupied with managing their own distress and they offer care that does not fit the needs of the other. They are desperate to feel loved and wanted. This can look clingy, possessive or paranoid when they fear attachment loss.
Avoidant attachment
Avoidant, deactivating strategies are flight responses. These are designed to minimise frustration and distress through distancing oneself from loved ones seen as hostile, dangerous or uncaring.
Attachment needs are then minimised and compulsive self reliance becomes the order of the day. Vulnerability in the self or perceived vulnerability in others then triggers distancing behaviours. Avoidant attachers take pride in their independence and see attachment as weakness. They tend to pull away when they need help most. They are not as attentive as their partners because they worry they will become too codependent, and this will take away their independence. They also can shut down emotionally during arguments or close themselves off from feelings.
Fearful-avoidant or ‘disorganised’ attachment
A third type of behaviour arises when a person has been traumatised by an attachment figure. He or she is then in a paradoxical situation in which loved ones are both the source of and the solution to fear. Under these circumstances this person often vacillates between longing and fear, demanding connection and then distancing and even attacking when connection is offered.
Why is attachment theory important?
It’s important to recognise that these adaptive strategies of flight, flight freeze in the face of attachment loss are protective strategies and therefore make complete sense. It’s not that a person is defective. It’s also important to recognise that around 50% of the population are insecurely attached, adopting either an anxious or avoidant strategy of managing their relationships.
Lastly, the most important part to understanding attachment theory is that it’s not set in stone. With some help, we can move towards secure attachment, or more transparent signalling of our distress. One which would invite a caregiving validating response to our vulnerability.
How do you move toward secure attachment?
Love was once impossible to define and was generally thought of as a strange mixture of sex and sentiment. We’re now able to apply the revolutionary science of attachment to understanding love and couple relationships. However, attachment style is not deterministic. Working models of attachment can change. Models of ‘self’ and ‘other’ can change. Using attachment theory, therapists see clients as stuck in self-limiting ways of perceiving and responding, rather than defective.
We understand that what keeps people stuck is not what happened in the past. It’s their way of dealing with it now that causes past messages and triggers to be confirmed all the time. The way we deal with it in the present is keeping the relevance, confirming and maintaining the centrality of traumatic experience.
Bowlby didn’t have enough time in his life to translate his work into a theory of intervention. But, he believed that if therapy can be successful, the change process can culminate in a more effective dependency. The client’s working model of self and other would be clarified. This makes it more coherent and adaptive. Then, their potential for positive relationships with others can be enhanced.
For a well-encapsulated visual of why attachment style matters and how understanding it can help us, have a look at this video.
Couples’ therapy is one of the many services we offer at The Therapy Clinic and we offer both short and long term models of therapy. To see how we can help you, please book a free initial consultation.
Placement Opportunities
Work and Placement Opportunities at The Therapy Clinic Brighton
Be Part of the Team at The Therapy Clinic
Good news – we are offering placements to qualified and trainee therapists to come and work at the Therapy Clinic. Our placement opportunities are open to therapists at all
stages of their career from trainee level through to qualified, accredited and senior accredited
status.
The Therapy Clinic Brighton are committed to providing high quality accessible therapy services and are looking for you to join our team of psychotherapists,
counsellors and psychologists.
We’re offering both trainee and post qualification placements for psychotherapists, counsellors and counselling psychologists.
If you would like to be considered for a placement read the attached document The Therapy Clinic_ Placements and apply no later than 30 November 2020.
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Covid-19
How The Therapy Clinic are working to support people during the Covid-19 / Coronavirus Pandemic
How’s everyone holding up?
The Therapy Clinic team have been working hard to transition our ‘business as usual’ over to online since social distancing and lockdown began in March 2020. We are continuing to offer regular therapy sessions, and consultations using video link and have been able to continue to support many clients this way.
In addition, we are launching new services specifically designed to offer affordable, high quality, support to individuals affected by Covid-19.
The first of these is Covid-19 online counselling and support.
We are offering short term online counselling for individuals and couples who need help in dealing with the impact of Covid-19, including:
- Dealing with loneliness and isolation
- Managing anxiety
- Managing uncertainty
- Helping with relationship stress / conflict
- Adjusting to working from home
- Looking after your own mental health when you are focussed on helping others
- Dealing with grief and loss
Members of our therapy team are offering a free initial consultation and up to 5 further sessions at a reduced rate of £35 for individuals and £50 for couples
You can book an initial assessment through our website.
You can find out more about us;
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.
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TTC Talks @ 1: DBT and Distress Tolerance
TTC Talks @ 1 - Informal Lunchtime CPD Sessions Introducing Therapeutic Approaches & Promoting Cross Modality Conversations
Happy New Year from The Therapy Clinic team!
Going in to 2020 we have a new cycle of Talks at 1. These are talks held at The Therapy Clinic over lunchtimes where practitioners are able to come together, share knowledge and learn about different therapeutic models from each other.
At the end of 2019, Rachel Singh and Jacqui Paterson facilitated the third instalment of our introduction to DBT. Kate West summarised the experience:
“The third instalment of our introduction to DBT began with us grounding ourselves with the use of mindfulness. Having never been asked to focus on the space between our eyes, the space between our ears, the feeling of the soles of our feet, the feeling of breath behind our eyes, it was a fascinating albeit brief experience. For the majority of us it worked to start to slow/refocus our thoughts and begin to shut out the noise in our heads that plagues us all. This is one of the valuable tools of Distress Tolerance that make up the third module in the DBT programme, and that everyone could surely benefit from.
We learnt that the core thinking behind distress tolerance is the ability to accept reality, and to tolerate it, which is very different to trying to change it. If able to do this, we’re much better able to ‘survive’ a crisis. It’s the power of being able to tolerate the emotions that come up, without feeling totally flooded or overwhelmed, being able to keep a sense of ‘wise self’ which requires a degree of both cognitive self and emotional self.
The ways to do this include STOP (Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed mindfully), TIP skills to change body chemistry (splashing face with cold water, intense exercise, paced breathing, paired muscle relaxation), Improving the moment (with imagery, with meaning, with prayer, with relaxing actions, with encouragement) and perhaps the most important skill of all: Radical Acceptance.
Radical Acceptance is not to be confused with approving of reality, it’s simply an acknowledgement of reality, not fighting (and intensify our emotional reaction, causing more suffering), but accepting the pain in our lives. Once we do this we can better start to find a way out of it. The key seems to be in the word radical – it really is far-reaching and fundamental.
We look forward to the next in this series of DBT introductory talks to further equip ourselves with the knowledge of this immensely effective toolkit.”
If you would like to begin your own therapy journey, you can book an initial assessment through our website.
You can find out more about us;
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.
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TTC Talks @ 1: The New Analysts Guide to the Galaxy
TTC Talks @ 1 - Informal Lunchtime CPD Sessions Introducing Therapeutic Approaches & Promoting Cross Modality Conversations
This month’s TTC Talks@1 was presented by Paul Salvage, a Therapy Clinic affiliated practitioner. Here, Kate West Therapy Clinic Associate, summarises what we learnt.
“Therapists at The Therapy Clinic are welcoming TTC Talks @1 as a now regular part of clinic life, as well as the lively discussion that ensues. And this week’s talk with Paul Salvage on Psychoanalysis was no different.
Taking an interesting angle to his talk (and not one we’ve had before) Paul presented as a sort of book club, taking us through some of the key ideas in The New Analysts Guide to the Galaxy (by Antonino Ferro) as a springboard in to cross modality discussion and an opportunity to question some of the assumptions we all hold about analysis. Paul favours the book for what he says is an undogmatic and unstuffy tone, and it’s presentation as a conversation between a new and older analyst.
From the brief intro we had to the book, it appears Ferro has taken the analysis ‘rule book’ (if there ever was one) and thrown it in the bin, allowing much more space for the thinking around and development of psychoanalytic practice. He approaches subjects such as silence in the session, payment of sessions, projective identification, side effects for the therapist, touch, common sense, endings and analytic tools with a fresh perspective and one that arguably brings analytic practice much closer to other modalities.
Many therapists may well welcome Ferro’s argument that ‘Psychoanalysis is a simple thing, that we psychoanalysts for a long time have been trying to make as complicated and obscure as possible.’
As a team of therapists from different backgrounds drawing from varying models of therapy we realise there is much more that unites us in practice than divides us. Whether you’d interpret a client’s complaint of being cold with something about the chill of the therapeutic relationship, or simply turn the heater up, in our discussion we seemed to agree with Ferro that at the core of Analysis is a process that allows the working through of reality, and this idea is not unique to analysis but core to all our practice. But is it as simple as Ferro argues it to be? Perhaps it really is once we can turn the volume down on our theoretical models and our own anxieties.
Doing this leaves us more capacity ‘to dream the patient’s communications, to deconstruct them’ and to construct together with the patient ‘worlds which, before that were neither thinkable nor perhaps even existing, to help us transform mental blocks into thinkable thoughts and liveable emotions’. Freud may well be turning in his grave at the idea his invention is simple but we felt in our discussion that if we can sit with a client alongside their difficulties, with no agenda, no pressure for the ‘right thing to say now’ and really be with them, we’re definitely on the right path – whether it be analytical work or not.”
If you would like to begin your own therapy journey, you can book an initial assessment through our website.
You can find out more about us;
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.
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TTC Talks @ 1: Couples Therapy
TTC Talks @ 1 - Informal Lunchtime CPD Sessions Introducing Therapeutic Approaches & Promoting Cross Modality Conversations
The 3rd in our Wednesday series of TTC Talks@1 was an introduction to Couples Therapy presented by Kate West. Here Rose Gardner, Therapy Clinic Director, summarises what we learnt.
“In a little over a quarter of an hour Kate managed to synthesise the key elements of her work with couples – in particular giving us a comprehensive introduction to the Emotionally Focussed Therapy approach (EFT).
Starting with inviting us to consider the question ‘What is Love?’ Kate went on to give a synopsis of attachment theory as the ‘science of love’ which underpins EFT and provides the theoretical framework guiding the therapeutic work. Kate explained the way in which the EFT model takes the basic human need for emotional proximity and a safe haven as being at the heart of all intimate relationships and how understanding the basic strategies we adopt in response to the threat of loss and separation is at the heart of the EFT therapeutic approach.
The aim is to enable couples to move beyond conflict or impasse and blame towards a deeper understanding of how their own and their partner’s different emotional responses are both attempts to deal with the same basic fear – ie of emotional isolation. Kate explained how working to enable each partner to identify and express their underlying emotions is the key to therapeutic change – and how in this respect in-vivo work in the sessions is often incredibly powerful and moving as couples come to hear each other in a very different way.”
To see if couples therapy is right for you, please email info@therapyclinicbrighton.com to arrange an assessment with one of our specialised team.
You can find out more about us;
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.
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TTC Talks @ 1: Short-Term Therapy
TTC Talks @ 1 - Informal Lunchtime CPD Sessions Introducing Therapeutic Approaches & Promoting Cross Modality Conversations
Members of The Therapy Clinic enjoyed another TTC Talks @ 1 session where Ellie Carn presented on Short-Term or Brief Therapy.
This is an instalment of a series of monthly lunchtime CPD sessions, introducing members to the diverse range of therapy models we offer at The Therapy Clinic.
Kate West, Associate, reflects on this talk:
“Our second TTC Talks @1 session with Ellie Carn last week led to a lively discussion about the merits of short term therapy. Ellie is specifically experienced and trained in short-term therapy models and presented to a room full of therapists working mainly in open ended, longer term models.
Ellie Emphasised the following key factors of success for short term therapy:
- Clarity and transparency, short term work must be treated as such from the outset. With a select focus in the work on the issues the client brings.
- Focus in the work is essential to the success of the intervention, and may require a benign neglect of other issues not central to the work.
- Other key factors include the necessity of identifying key themes, or goals, or needs, with immediacy and formulating these in to the focus of the work.
- The idea of SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Timely) can be helpful in effective short-term work, for therapist and client.
As with any therapy a lot of the success of the work rests on a good formulation at the outset (the ability to make sense of a client’s story, link past with present and hone in on where the difficulties and hence the focus of the work lie) the strength of the therapeutic relationship/alliance – key for any corrective emotional experience, and lastly, and perhaps most importantly with short term work, a continuous awareness of the ending.
Perhaps too often therapists fall back on an assumption that long term therapy is the most successful premise for a corrective emotional experience but if done well, significant benefit can be attained in even 12 weeks. Providing the intervention is appropriate for the presenting problem.
Part of our Ethos at The Therapy Clinic is to make therapy accessible to as many people as possible, short-term approaches can lighten the financial burden of therapy and increase accessibility, as well as being an effective intervention in its own right. Our work now is to weave this thinking more solidly in to our offerings for clients and more explicitly assess at the outset for the appropriateness of short term work so watch this space!”
Next up in the series of TTC Talks @1 is Kate West‘s introduction to working with couples, in June 2019.
To enquire about membership and room rental options please get in touch.
You can find out more about us;
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.
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TTC Talks @ 1: Cross-Modality Conversations
TTC Talks @ 1 - Informal Lunchtime CPD Sessions Introducing Therapeutic Approaches & Promoting Cross Modality Conversations
Members of The Therapy Clinic enjoy the inaugural TTC Talks @ 1 session.
This is the first instalment of a series of monthly lunchtime CPD sessions, starting off with a run of sessions to introduce members to the diverse range of therapy models we offer at The Therapy Clinic.
Kate West, Associate, gives her account of the talk:
“As part of our ethos to think creatively about an individual therapeutic pathways, tailored to the specific needs of an individual seeking help, we actively foster cross modality conversations.
As part of the introduction to Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) Rachel Singh and Jacqui Paterson had us all holding, smelling, stroking and analysing lemons – one of the mindfulness techniques they teach on the DBT programme.
It’s fascinating what you notice about a lemon if you’re given two minutes quiet time to entirely focus on one! And, of course when you’re entirely focused, then there’s no room in the mind for thoughts of past or future that can trigger anxiety, just staying in the here and now is calming.
As well as being fully present in the moment, we learnt to drop judgement of ourselves and others, and be more focussed on our goals in any given situation, ensuring effectiveness. We learnt that radical acceptance is also key to a quieter mind, that once we accept we can then move on.”
Mindfulness is just one module of the 4 that make up DBT. We look forward to further introduction in due course on Emotion Regulation, Distress Tolerance, and Interpersonal Effectiveness.
Next up in the series of TTC Talks @1 is Ellie Carn’s introduction to brief or short term psychotherapy in May 2019.
To enquire about membership and room rental options please get in touch.
You can find out more about us;
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.
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Who needs therapy?
Most people could benefit from therapy, and you don't have to be in crisis.
It is a common misconception that therapy is the answer when we are in crisis or only for people with diagnosed mental health issues. It is certainly the case that therapy can be hugely beneficial at times like these.
Sometimes the signs that therapy could help might be less obvious. Perhaps you are not feeling like yourself; perhaps you have not been for a while. It could be that the things that usually help you cope are not as effective as they used to be or maybe you know your coping mechanisms are not that healthy. Maybe you’re struggling to be OK after losing someone. It could be that you are about to embark on a significant change or have a significant change happen to your world.
All of the above are reasons to seek therapy and give it a try.
Therapy does not have to be a commitment to high costs and years of analysis. Many people can find some improvement in a number of weeks or months, although more complex issues may require more intensive intervention. The Therapy Clinic offers a range of cost and time sensitive approaches.
Therapy does not ‘fix’ you, because you are not broken. What therapy can offer is insight into who we are and what we do, our patterns and our problems. The more we know, the more choice we have to make changes and live our best lives.
To see how therapy could benefit you, book an initial consultation today.
You can find out more about us;
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.
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What is Cost-Sensitive Therapy?
Cost-Sensitive Therapy – what does that mean?
The Therapy Clinic began in 2018 with Rose’s belief that we could offer something different for Psychotherapy and Counselling in Brighton and Hove. From the beginning, The Therapy Clinic has had a commitment to accessibility and affordability, without compromising on quality.
At The Therapy Clinic, we choose the term “cost-sensitive” rather than “low cost” when talking about therapy. This is because being on a limited budget should not mean getting a second rate service. What it does mean is that we provide the high quality of counselling, whilst taking account of people’s budgets.
We recognise that therapy is often not available to those who need it most. Cost is a factor in people finding therapy difficult to access. At The Therapy Clinic we have some low cost weekly therapy available from £20 per session.
To achieve this, the Therapy Clinic has a team of therapists working at different levels of qualification and experience. Every therapist who works at the clinic is here because of their abilities, and their shared commitment to our values. Counsellors with less experience are supervised by the Senior Associates. In addition to this, therapists with more experience also provide some reduced fee therapy, for those with more complex issues.
In addition to offering cost-sensitive counselling, we also see the value in innovative and evidenced based short-term therapy models. These shorter term approaches can also help make therapy available to people with limited budgets.
If you are considering therapy, get in touch or book online to come and discuss what we can offer to you.
You can find out more about us
On our website: www.therapyclinicbrighton.com
By emailing: info@therapyclinicbrighton.com
Or following us on social media at facebook, twitter, instagram, or linkedin.